It's been so long long ago i didn't get in touch with this blog. It is like forever ago since my last posting was on April 24th 2010. Wooow two years already! what have i done in the past two years?. Well, this is why i'm back here to tell you ( yes you, i hope you are from the same earth), i've tried to find some-privacy-space but still in a social network to make it easier. And yes, i have to tell you first, that this is going to be a very long and boring journey that i want to tell. So brace yourself!
Tonight, like the other night i have passed, i tried to remember what had just happend in five months ago. FYI this is October, and five months ago means June. What happend on June? Well, That month was one of the roughest time on my life. I gotta accept that i'm not yet qualified to be a medical student in many state university i've tested. That moment was hard to me because i never thought that i would survive on that problem. I almost lost my track from the light till i found that life is not always about winning a game, it's Allah SWT who deserve to decide. I'm not here to give a preach anyway, so back to the story.
When i was on a third grade in high school, i was a serious and diligent kind of person in class. I had my thought and a mindset to reach my goals. My two big goals in a year was to pass the national examination and national test to enter university. I turn to be a very hopeful girl with a big dreams to be doctor (i don't know where did i get those confident) and all i am doing at that time was studying and praying to be qualified on test. I scare to death if i failed, at that time.
Once the examination day were come, i really doing as maximum as i could. First, national examination result was finally come. Alhamdulillah, the result was very unpredictable. I thought my exam result would not be that excellent. I am still grateful for my own work. Thank to Allah SWT. But i dont dwell on that victory day, I have to face my second goal to be a medical student in a state university. All i could do again is only studying and praying praying praying. I had a figured that my choice was hard and rare-possibility. Yet i am still so confident to get through my dreams.
A day before the national test result was revealed, i suddenly lost my confident to be able to purse my dreams. I don't know why, maybe the euphoria that brings me up. And finally that day was come. The result day. And who knows that the result was exactly the same as i predicted? I felt so dark..... I am lost..... I am sad..... I am like Alice in Alice In Wonderland story, who draw back to a dark, long, and sorrow hole. If i remember that, i only can pray to not to feel that again. ever.
Now the thing has change. The sparkle of a spirit is back. The sunshine is high. And the most important thing is, my new power is charge! I may not yet qualified to be a medical student in 2012. I may be failed in some test. But now i stand again and try to find my faults in 2012, and study that stuff so that i would not gonna fall to any dark and sorrow hole again. I take course to help me study and doing a tryouts. I have a new mindset and a new directions to follow, and i hope this is the best way.
When you find a way that is hard for you, that you never thought you can pass on them, just hold on what you believes. Because every dark cloud has a silver lining, for who believes so. :)
Tonight, like the other night i have passed, i tried to remember what had just happend in five months ago. FYI this is October, and five months ago means June. What happend on June? Well, That month was one of the roughest time on my life. I gotta accept that i'm not yet qualified to be a medical student in many state university i've tested. That moment was hard to me because i never thought that i would survive on that problem. I almost lost my track from the light till i found that life is not always about winning a game, it's Allah SWT who deserve to decide. I'm not here to give a preach anyway, so back to the story.
When i was on a third grade in high school, i was a serious and diligent kind of person in class. I had my thought and a mindset to reach my goals. My two big goals in a year was to pass the national examination and national test to enter university. I turn to be a very hopeful girl with a big dreams to be doctor (i don't know where did i get those confident) and all i am doing at that time was studying and praying to be qualified on test. I scare to death if i failed, at that time.
Once the examination day were come, i really doing as maximum as i could. First, national examination result was finally come. Alhamdulillah, the result was very unpredictable. I thought my exam result would not be that excellent. I am still grateful for my own work. Thank to Allah SWT. But i dont dwell on that victory day, I have to face my second goal to be a medical student in a state university. All i could do again is only studying and praying praying praying. I had a figured that my choice was hard and rare-possibility. Yet i am still so confident to get through my dreams.
A day before the national test result was revealed, i suddenly lost my confident to be able to purse my dreams. I don't know why, maybe the euphoria that brings me up. And finally that day was come. The result day. And who knows that the result was exactly the same as i predicted? I felt so dark..... I am lost..... I am sad..... I am like Alice in Alice In Wonderland story, who draw back to a dark, long, and sorrow hole. If i remember that, i only can pray to not to feel that again. ever.
Now the thing has change. The sparkle of a spirit is back. The sunshine is high. And the most important thing is, my new power is charge! I may not yet qualified to be a medical student in 2012. I may be failed in some test. But now i stand again and try to find my faults in 2012, and study that stuff so that i would not gonna fall to any dark and sorrow hole again. I take course to help me study and doing a tryouts. I have a new mindset and a new directions to follow, and i hope this is the best way.
When you find a way that is hard for you, that you never thought you can pass on them, just hold on what you believes. Because every dark cloud has a silver lining, for who believes so. :)
